How Do I Ask My Therapist for a Reduced Fee? (3 Rules)

If you want to successfully negotiate a lower rate with a therapist, when you do it is as important as how you do it.

It’s better to start by negotiating with a therapist, because at that point, you have nothing to lose. You don’t have a relationship with the therapist yet. You haven’t opened up to them too much, so it’s less likely a rate debate could feel personally insulting to either of you. It won’t bring up as many power dynamics to talk about money in the beginning and also won’t come across as a judgement you’re making about the quality of their work.

It’s honest and simple. You’re telling the therapist you would like to work with them, but you have a bottom-line number for your budget you can’t go past. You will quickly learn whether the therapist is open to negotiation when you start this way. Either you’ll work out a rate you can both accept, or you’ll shake hands and move on to the next therapist on your list.

Note that there are exceptions to this general rule. We’ll talk about these in the next section. But in general, it’s not a good plan to hope to “get in” with a therapist and ask to pay less later. It will put both you and the therapist in an awkward position—and it’s less likely to work.

While in most cases, it’s best to negotiate rates at the start of therapy, there are exceptions to this rule. It’s like signing up for insurance: most of the time, you need to do it during the open enrollment period. However, you can (and should) also do it when you have a major life event (known as a “qualifying event” in insurance lingo).

So, any time your income or your budget significantly changes, it’s okay to talk to your therapist about it and ask if they can lower their rate for you. This is the principle sliding scale rates are based on, anyway—what you pay is a reflection of your income and what you can afford. If you have a good working relationship with your therapist and are making a lot of progress with them, they are even more likely to want to work with you to set a new rate.

The second most important thing to know about negotiating therapy rates is to understand that it’s a negotiation. This means you both must be willing to compromise.

When a therapist agrees to negotiate, it means they are willing to come down from their standard rate—but negotiating also means you need to be willing to come up from the bargain-basement rate you might prefer.

Therapy is worth something. Good therapy is worth a lot. You don’t win by insisting on paying less than what therapy is actually worth.

This might be counterintuitive, because it goes against a lot of our cultural messaging. We love to brag about getting a good deal, and what we usually mean when we say we got a great deal is, “I can’t believe I paid so little for this.”

That’s not really a good attitude to bring into therapy. Therapy is not an idle, throw-away pastime. It’s not shopping for a rug at the flea market. It’s an act of commitment to yourself. Refusing to make room for therapy in your budget is a sign you are refusing to invest in yourself.

This means what you pay won’t put you in a financially precarious position or make it impossible to keep going—but it also means it will accurately reflect what the service they provide you is worth.

The third rule for negotiating therapy rates is to make sure that the problem you’re trying to solve will actually be solved by getting a lower rate. What we mean by this is that the issue isn’t always money even when we think it is.

We have a lot of emotions tied up in money—and they connect to issues as deep as our survival instincts or primal wounds from childhood. We don’t like to spend when we don’t feel safe. We don’t like having to pay for what we should have gotten for free in childhood.

These issues are so profound—and so universal—we’ve written an entire other article on them. We encourage you to read that article along with this one for much clearer insight on the right time to negotiate. The tips box below provides some quick signs you can look out for that money isn’t actually the issue.

The main issue with trying to negotiate rates for any of these reasons is that paying a lower rate won’t actually solve the problem you’re trying to solve. Your efforts are also less likely to be successful than when there are material reasons you need to lower the rate you pay.

Now that we’ve established some ground rules, let’s take a look at what you can do to increase your chances of successfully negotiating rates with a therapist.

When you begin your therapy search, look for therapists who specifically advertise that they offer sliding-scale fees. This doesn’t guarantee that they will be able to accommodate you, but it increases your chances significantly.

By offering sliding-scale fees, they are advertising that they want to help clients who may be suffering financial hardship. These therapists understand that the same things that can bring people to therapy can affect their income—such as the loss of a loved one or an inability to work due to depression or anxiety.

When you reach out to these therapists, be open and clear from the beginning that you are hoping to be approved for sliding-scale. Many of them will hold a limited number of client spots for this, and they should tell you right away whether they can accommodate this request.

Therapists, like all of us, perform a service with the expectation of reimbursement. So, if your therapist is open to sliding-scale fees, you’ll be more successful if you’re willing to work with them on making the arrangement mutually beneficial.

Like we pointed out in Rule Number Two, negotiation takes two willing people to work. The therapist has to be willing to come down from their standard rate, and you have to be willing to come up from the lowest rate you’d like to pay.

That said, there are other ways you can offer something in return to a therapist who is willing to lower their rate for you. For example, you might agree to scheduling your sessions during off-peak hours (such as in the morning), working with a therapist trainee who is building their experience, or taking fill-in appointments when other clients reschedule.

By showing this flexibility, you also show your therapist appreciation for the accommodation they’ve made, making them more likely to continue to offer the lower fee over the long-term.

Many therapists advertise certain fees knowing that they will only receive a certain percentage of that rate back from insurance companies. If you are paying out of pocket, ask if your fee can be reduced at least to what their expected reimbursement from insurance would have been.

Not only does this keep what you are paying on par with what insured clients pay, it also saves your therapist the hassle of filing insurance reimbursement forms and disputing denials. Making sure you pay in full and on time can sweeten the deal. Not only will it keep you in your therapist’s good graces, it will provide a nice counterpoint to how long they have to wait for insurance payments to come in.

Another important tip is to look in the right place. How do you find therapists who offer sliding-scale rates, reduced fees, or even pro bono slots? If you know where to start your search, you’re much more likely to be successful.

Note that you have to qualify for a sliding-scale fee to actually get one. Therapists reserve their lowest rates for the clients with the greatest need. If you want a lower rate, but multiple therapists or agencies are telling you that you don’t qualify for one, you may need to take a closer look at your budget and figure out if the reason you want to pay less isn’t really a financial one.

On the other hand, some sliding scales are stricter than others. Public agencies tend to have tighter income ranges than private practice therapists who offer sliding-scale rates. We encourage you to be creative and keep looking. In addition to the above options, you may be able to find free or low-cost therapy at churches, other spiritual organizations, and local non-profits.